Sibling Newborn Photography — What If My Older One Won't Cooperate?

Every parent asks some version of this question before a sibling session. Usually it comes in an email, slightly apologetic: "Just to warn you, my three-year-old is going through a phase." Or: "She says she doesn't want a baby brother, so this might be interesting." Or simply: "He won't sit still for more than thirty seconds."

Eighteen years in, I want to reassure you: this is not a problem. It is, in fact, almost exactly what I'm hoping for.

The sibling portraits that families treasure most are rarely the ones where everyone is sitting nicely and looking at the camera. They're the one where the older child is mid-lean, nose almost touching the baby's face, examining this new person with absolute seriousness. Or where they're holding the baby's hand with both of theirs, concentrating hard. Or where they've simply climbed in next to the baby and are looking at something completely else entirely, unaware of the camera at all.

Children between two and five years old are not good at performing. They are, however, often extraordinary at being themselves — and being themselves next to a new sibling produces some of the most honest portraits I make.

What I've learned is that the session works best when I don't try to control the older child too much. I give them a small job — "hold this," "sit here for a moment" — and then mostly I photograph what happens next. If they're interested in the baby, wonderful. If they lose interest after four minutes and want to go and find their toys, that's fine too. I've usually got what I need by then, and we can come back to it later when curiosity brings them back.

The one thing that does help is not building it up too much beforehand. Children who've been told for weeks that today is a very important day when they must be very good tend to arrive over-rehearsed and stilted. Children who've been told "a photographer is coming to take some pictures of the baby and you can be in them if you want" tend to arrive curious and relaxed.

If you're booking a newborn session and wondering whether to include your older child — include them. The images of the two of them together, from these very first days, are the ones you'll reach for first in twenty years.

Full details on newborn sessions here →